Things to Avoid When Online Dating? You Didn’t Expect
Online dating ⸺ where love and desperation collide! Who would have thought that swiping left could lead to a heartbreak… or a hilarious story to tell? Here are some unexpected online dating pitfalls to watch out for: don’t be a “cat-fish” (unless you’re a fish, then own it), and don’t overshare ⸺ your date doesn’t need to know your entire life story… yet!
As the joke goes, “I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.”
- Be authentic, not a faux-celeb!
- Avoid over-texting ⎯ it’s like trying to eat a whole pizza by yourself (it’s just too much)!
Stay safe, and keep laughing ⸺ after all, laughter is the best medicine (unless you have health insurance, then go see a doctor)!
The Most Common Online Dating Mistakes
We’ve all been there ⸺ swiping through profiles, trying to find “the one”… or at least someone who doesn’t snore too loudly. But, beware of these common online dating faux pas!
As comedian Steve Harvey once said, “If you’re on dating sites and you’re not getting weird messages, you’re not doing it right.” But, seriously, here are some mistakes to avoid:
- Lying about your height ⸺ it’s like trying to hide a bad haircut, it won’t end well!
- Using outdated photos ⸺ unless you’re trying to scare people off, in which case, go for it!
- Being too vague ⸺ don’t be a mystery novel, be a rom-com instead!
So, be honest, be yourself, and for goodness’ sake, update your profile picture ⸺ your date will thank you!
Dating Profile Errors to Watch Out For
Your dating profile is like a first impression ⸺ make it count! Or, you know, at least make it not too cringeworthy. Here are some profile pitfalls to steer clear of:
- Grammar and spelling mistakes ⸺ it’s like wearing a typo t-shirt on a first date!
- Too many group photos ⸺ it’s like trying to hide in a crowd, but not in a charming way!
- Listing “Netflix and chill” as a hobby ⸺ just… no. Be more creative, or not.
As the saying goes, “You never get a second chance to make a first impression.” So, proofread, and maybe even ask a friend to swipe through your profile. Trust us, they’ll rofl at some of your jokes… or not.
Things Not to Do on Online Dating Sites
Online dating sites are like a big ol’ game of love, but don’t get too game-y! Here are some things to avoid:
- Don’t be a ghost ⎯ if you’re not interested, just say so. It’s like cancelling plans via carrier pigeon ⎯ it just doesn’t work.
- No need to be a serial swiper ⸺ quality over quantity, folks! Unless you’re just looking for a ton of mediocre dates.
- Don’t send unsolicited dick pics ⸺ it’s like giving a bad gift on a first date. Just… no.
As the joke goes, “I’m not a photographer, but I can picture us together.” Okay, maybe that’s not a joke, but you get the idea ⎯ be classy, not trashy!
Online Dating Fails to Avoid
We’ve all heard of online dating fails, but some are just epic! To avoid becoming a meme, steer clear of these:
- Don’t lie about your height ⎯ it’s like trying to hide a giant tattoo. It’ll come out eventually!
- Avoid oversharing ⸺ your date doesn’t need to know about your last Netflix binge or your favorite memes… yet!
- No need to be too extra on your first date ⸺ save the pyrotechnics for later!
As the saying goes, “honesty is the best policy,” unless you’re trying to hide a bad haircut, then just wear a hat. But seriously, be yourself, unless you can be a unicorn, then be a unicorn ⎯ just don’t lie about being a unicorn if you’re not!
Online Dating Safety Tips
Online dating can be a wild ride, but don’t let it become a thrill-ride to disaster! To stay safe, follow these tips:
- Meet in a public place ⸺ don’t go to a secluded cabin in the woods unless you’re on a reality TV show!
- Tell a friend ⎯ let them know where you’re going and who you’re meeting. It’s like having a digital chaperone!
- Keep personal info private ⎯ don’t share your home address or social security number… that’s just crazy talk!
As they say, “better safe than sorry,” or in this case, “better safe than cat-fished!” So, stay safe, and keep your wits about you ⸺ after all, you never know what kind of character you’ll meet online!
Dating Red Flags to Watch Out For
When online dating, it’s essential to watch out for those sneaky red flags! You know, the ones that scream “run for your life!” or “block this number!” Here are a few to keep an eye out for:
- If they’re too perfect, they’re probably not human… or a serial killer with a good PR team!
- If they can’t take a joke, you might be dating a Grinch ⎯ and not the cute, furry kind!
- If they’re pushing for personal info, it’s like they’re trying to hack into your life ⎯ and not in a cool, spy-movie way!
As the saying goes, “trust your instincts.” If something feels off, it probably is. So, if you see these red flags waving, it’s time to swipe left ⸺ or in real life, make a quick exit! After all, you don’t want to end up on a true crime podcast!
Bad Online Dating Habits to Break
We’ve all got those pesky bad habits that we just can’t seem to shake, and online dating is no exception! So, let’s break up with these bad online dating habits:
- Overthinking ⸺ don’t analyze every dot, comma, and emoji in their messages. It’s just a text, not a thesis statement!
- Ghosting others ⸺ it’s like playing video games on easy mode, but someone else is losing!
- Using pickup lines ⎯ unless you’re a comedian, in which case, keep ’em coming!
As the joke goes, “I tried online dating, but it was a disaster. I was catfished by a model… my mom!” Break these bad habits, and you might just find yourself on a real date, with a real person!
Online Dating Etiquette 101
Online dating etiquette ⎯ because manners matter, even in the wild west of the internet! Here are some unwritten rules to follow:
- Be honest in your profile ⎯ don’t embellish your height, age, or number of Netflix shows watched.
- Don’t be a ghost ⸺ if you’re not interested, just say so. It’s like returning a pizza ⎯ just be honest!
- Meet in public ⸺ because safety first is more than just a motto!
As they say, “When in doubt, be yourself… unless you can be a pizza, then be a pizza ⸺ everyone loves pizza!” Follow these simple rules, and you’ll be swiping right in no time!